Finally, After 44 Years, I Was About to Meet My Birthmother

November 3, 2001 - Philadelphia International Airport

As the escalator descended to the baggage claim on the lower level, a woman on crutches slowly came into view. Finally, after 44 years, I was about to meet Irene, my birth mother. I was very nervous. I couldn't stop the escalator...it was going to happen regardless. Her face finally slid into view.

Irene was recovering from a recent knee replacement, hence the crutches. She was with her husband Larry, and daughter Susan - my half-sister. Susan had driven them to the airport and I hadn't met any of them, only Peggy my other half-sister.

I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know how I would feel. I didn't know how to behave or what to say. Would there be instant recognition? Would I be overcome with a magnetic bond between biological mother and daughter? Would it be love at first sight? We hugged, I know we did because Susan was taking photos and I have them right here on my desk.

My husband and I had flown down to Philadelphia from Boston for a long weekend. Irene insisted that we stay at their house in Media....the house that I would have grown up in had I not been adopted. I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I barely remember the weekend. So I recently reached out to my two half-sisters Peggy and Susan to see if their memories were clearer than mine. We pieced together a bit of a timeline, but honestly, none of us really remember that weekend very clearly. Interesting what heightened emotions can do to one's memory. It was kind of like a dream, I mused somewhat later.

Irene was lovely and welcoming, as were Larry and Susan. I think that Irene and I were both being very protective of ourselves...44 years of loss and pain...how do you come to terms with that? Not in a weekend, not by far. But we had a grand time all told - we went to York to visit Peggy and her family, and went to Susan's house in Media to meet her cats and dog, and of course everyone was passionate about gardens and plants, so a lot of touring around yards. And in the finest family tradition, there were a lot of meals involved! A grand welcome for the long-lost daughter.

My sister Peggy wrote a month or so later:

"I think she (Irene) did really well when you were here (in PA), and it must have been very emotional for her, but as usual she kept it inside. But I think it probably brought closure for her, seeing first hand that you had a great childhood and turned out to be a pretty neat adult! And also the chance of a new beginning, being able to keep in touch with you."

The First Hug - Irene and Kate

Kate and Irene

Kate, Peggy, Irene and Susan